Don't Smoke!

Have I not posted this story????

I don't remember what led up to the conversation. I do remember is was one of those times where I thought, "This is a teaching moment - seize it". The topic of smoking came up one day when we were all at home in our kitchen. I thought to myself....it's not a one time topic of conversation...so use this opportunity to tell the kids the dangers of smoking.

I gave my speech-impressed with my proactive approach. My daughter nodded along in agreement. Looking me in the eye and declaring "I will NEVER smoke." I, for one, think she may keep this promise.

My son, looking like he had an internal struggle raging, looks at me. He, too looks me in the eye, and says "Mommy, remind me EVERY day not to smoke because I think I might want to because it looks so cool."

Now on any given day, you can hear any of the following off hand comments

• "Don't smoke"
• "Did I remind you today not to smoke?"
• "You forgot to remind me today, not to smoke".

Crime & Justice

I can't help but remain amazed by the differences in my kids...here's an example.

The other day The Girl walked in and witnessed a scene from a new TV series that premiered last week. The scene was a bit of an aside...a glimpse into the main characters sorted past, no doubt. In this scene, a clerk is working in a convenience store. His good for nothing dad walks in and stuffs several things into his shirt and then only pays for a pack of cigarettes. The son (the clerk) weakly protests but the dad just walks out with the stolen goods. My daughter was APPALLED! Why did the Dad steal that stuff? Why didn't his son stop him? Doesn't he know that's wrong? Why doesn't he call the police on his dad?

For a moment, I begin to respond about the power of a parent over a kid but then stop and ask "What would you do?". Without missing a beat, she says she would run after him and take the stuff back or just call the police. I do not doubt, one bit, that she would do this. Her sense of right and wrong is just part of her. I see her future where she will fight injustice and/or fire slacker employees for taking 61 minute lunches.

On the flip side...

I was at Wal-Mart with The Boy. We wander through and pick up the handful of things we need. The clerk talk to him...tells him how cute he is...and he mustered up a 'thank you' but no real conversation. We grab our bag and begin to walk out. He says to me, "I really want to shoplift." Not in a sneaky way, not kidding me, just a matter of fact sentence. I immediately ask him if he even knows what it means? Does he know it's stealing? Does he know he could go to JAIL for shop lifting? He answers, "Yes" to all my questions and then says, "I just want to do it to see what it's like".

Really????? You are FIVE!!! Do I have to have this conversation today? And by the way, I forgot to remind you today (per your request) "Don't Smoke".

It's like a setup for a comic book or movie series. The hero and the anti-hero in a cosmic battle of good and evil and in the end we find they are brother and sister.

Full Rainbow

There are times that being a parent really makes sense. For all those days where coercing and threatening and separating fighting kids seems to dominate the majority of your day, there occasionally comes a moment when you want to stop the moment and hold it as long as possible.

I had one of those moments recently. It was a simple trip to the local Mexican Restaurant. As you know this is always a smart choice when you have small children...because chips are presented immediately and you circumvent the endless questions of 'when is the food coming?'.

Last Saturday, we were walking into the restaurant and I glance up to see a complete Rainbow. It was one so unexpected and perfect.

My kids were captivated. The Boy has only seen two rainbows in his entire five years of life, so he was especially thrilled. Neither of them could take their eyes off of it. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. The pure joy this rainbow delivered reminded me what's so great about kids. Seeing the world through their eyes. Experiencing the joy of what I would take for granted.

Double Feature

My parents came to town for Christmas. When they visit, me and the hubby always try to squeeze in a "date night". This visit was no exception.

We went to a spontaneous Double Feature. We figured the money saved on a babysitter could justify the splurge.

After four hours in a movie theater seeing something that wasn't animated reawakened a distant memory of life before kids.

New Year's Resolution

I have only one New Year's Resolution this year....

To live a more Intentional Life....

The North Pole - Hostile Workplace?

Have you watched Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer as an adult? Those Elves have a substantial case for identifying the North Pole as a "hostile workplace". The elves of yesteryear just kept their nose to the grindstone and endured the abuse...no running to HR...no hiring lawyers. Think about it. Hermie the dentist was verbally attacked by his supervisor for proclaiming his dream of becoming a dentist. Santa basically told Rudolph's dad "I was expecting more from you than some freak reindeer kid" Talk about a town filled with intolerance!

Still, I love those old Christmas specials! I still watch all of them - but hold my breath as the kids from Charlie Brown throw out words like "stupid and dumb" without any thought. I narrate the side conversation with "Can you imagine talking to someone like that? Or "Now that's not how a friend talks, is it?"

I can't help but wonder if we are raising our kids to be complete wimps by refereeing each play date and banning words like Stupid and Fool? We can create our own kinder gentler household but how's my kids going to cope when he/she heads into the real world and receives their first real insult without his/her mother to soften the blow?

I also think about the hours of time I had to roam the neighborhood with the other kids...no parents voices chiming in until my dad used his best "Time for Dinner" yell to summon us home. We had to 'work it out'....for better for worse. There were some days we packed up our toys and went home, but more times than not, we swallowed our pride (probably after some verbal banter) and kept on playing, knowing the alternative was sitting home alone while everyone else was having a good time.

This also brings me to my next thought. How clean would my house be if my kids ran around unsupervised for hours every day? No more standing guard in the front yard watching for cars or stray cats or dogs or falling meteors. I could finish a project...even one a day would be better than my current record. The upside is it's not likely I'm suffering from Vitamin D deficiency due to the amount of time I spend outside and we've yet to make a trip to the emergency room in the last eight years.

All in all, I think we've made our world a little better for our kids, but at the cost of making them a lot harder for their parents.