Challenges for Older Parents

I have friends who got married right out of school - both high school and college.  Some of their kids are now graduating from High school.  My oldest is in 5th grade and youngest in 1st  grade, so I still have a lot parenting ahead of me. 

Recently, one was sick with a fever in the middle of the night.  I stumbled out of bed and fumbled for the medicine cabinets.  It had been a long time since we had administered meds, so I had to read the label....or at least try to read the label..

For the life of me, I couldn't see what it said.  I stretched my arm out as far as it could reach and still blurrrrrrr. 

I am not the only over 40 parent out there.  Everyone knows that your vision takes a turn when you hit 40.  Why aren't there medicine labels...for older parents.  Labels with BIG LETTERS!

Growing Up...Restaurant Visit

This summer, I took my kids to a restaurant for dinner.  My 9 year old reviews the menu.  After careful consideration, she asks the Waiter, "What would you recommend - the grilled cheese or the chicken fingers?"

Without missing a beat, the waiter responds, "Oh, definitely the chicken fingers."

Pass

My sister is just about the funniest person on Earth.  She and I could recount the same story and she would have you rolling on the ground laughing - I would have you looking at your watch - praying you had an appointment - somewhere - anywhere. 

She got married this Spring and is often sharing anecdotes of the joys of early marriage.  My Brother-in-Law is the perfect balance to my sisters 'all in' personality.  Recently, yet another dog was in trouble - in need of a home- we all know this because his very adorable picture was being circulated via email.  Sis, eager to help any animal in need (since we were kids) forwards the email to her new husband.  She gets his reply.  It says, "Pass".

That's all - just Pass.  Not "we don't need another dog".  Not, "He's not very cute".  Just "Pass".

The more I thought about his response, the more I loved it.  Can you image the freedom of that word?  I long to use it, but I'm not sure I have the courage.

Question: Can you bake two dozen cookies for the bake sale? 
Answer: Pass.

Question: Can you buy wrapping paper from me even though I am the fourth person to knock on your door?
Answer: Pass.

Question: Can you get me a snack?
Answer: Pass

Question: Can you work in the church nursery?
Answer: Pass

One word - no explanation - no exclamation point - just a simple Pass - period. 

One day...one day....

Reading Glasses and Loud Music

We celebrated my Husband's birthday this week. Several weeks ago, I secured a babysitter...one who could drive...so I could have a drink during our night out. (This is a another post for another day). I booked at 7:30 reservations at a hip restaurant.

We are seated and start to peruse the menu. To my horror....I cannot even see the words on the menu in this dimly lit dining establishment. I hold the menu out a bit further....nothing....just squiggly lines on a paper. I fully extend my arm at this little table for two and my husband finally takes the menu from me (probably because it's in his lap at this point) and asks me what I'm trying to read.

Defeated, I have to pull out the reading glasses, that I've been forced to add to the contents of my pocketbook. They are funky and cool....but not when surrounded by a room full of 20 year olds with laser clear focus.

I was able to make a decision and order....but I did peer over the top of my 'readers' when ordering....okay I am old...old....old...

The only saving grace is my dear Hubby, about half way through the meal, said "It is really loud in here....I can't even hear myself think". Then I thought....at least we are getting old together. That makes it a lot better - doesn't it?

Anonymous Blog

Sometimes I wish I had an anonymous blog out there....a place where I could write exactly what I wanted....when I wanted to....without any judgement...

Hmmmmmmmmmm

Sneaking out of the House

I let my kids watch Grease the other day. I remembered it fondly and thought my nearly 10 year old and 6 year old would enjoy the musical. I managed to forget the overall theme of the movie...sex, drugs (alcohol) and rock and roll.

My son recapped a scene for me.
The Boy - "You know, Mom, in Grease they have sleepovers."
Me - "Yes they do".
The Boy - "In the sleepovers, they smoke, drink and pierce ears"
Me - "Really. I didn't remember that".
The Boy "yep"...smiling...thinking about something...I can just tell
Me - "If I ever find out you are at a sleepover and you smoke or drink, You will be sorry". "If I ever find you have left the house to go to a party without telling me, you will be severely punished"
The Boy "Oh, I would never sneak out of the house...unless I found out Elvis was going to be at the party"

Harrison Ford - Heartthrob or Old Man?

I took the kids to visit my parents this weekend. Always a lot to do when in the "Hill". My parents live in the same house I grew up in. I always have this inner dialog reconciling the memories of my teenage years with my current reality - being a parent. It only seems like yesterday I hung out with my friends in that house. Staying up too late and causing all kinds of drama.

My actual age always seems to catch me by surprise...it sneaks up on my when I least expect it....like at this last visit.

There it was - in front of me - the AARP magazine. A sign that not only am I aging, but my parents are too! Looking back at me from this magazine is....Harrison Ford. I immediately thought of the poster I had hanging on my closet door. Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones....the hat, the whip, the razor stubble. I was in love with this guy - young and handsome.

Now here he is, the bathroom reading in my Dad's half-bath, staring at me from the front of the AARP magazine. Is this where he thought he'd be....once sex symbol....now a 68 year old cover story of AARP.

I know we all get older, but this was a hard reality for me. I see my kids getting older and I know I am aging, but it doesn't really register. Even looking at Harrison Ford, he doesn't look like he's older than my Father (now that's a bit creepy - I admit) but speaking about his 'kinder, gentler life" in AARP reminds me that Indiana Jones - Raiders of the Lost Ark came out in 1981...30 YEARS AGO!

Is Divorce Contageous?

Is divorce contageous?

It seems when one couple gets one another friend isn't far behind. In my experience, bad things happen in threes - so far, divorces seem to come in twos. We are up to an even number so I think I'm safe.

Has anyone else noticed this? Maybe we encourage one another...either for working it out....or throwing in the towel.

Mid-Life Crisis

Is it possible I am having a mid-life crisis?

I find myself almost continually fantasizing about "getting the heck out of Dodge". I remember being a teenager counting the days until I graduated and got to leave the small town I grew up in. My parents used to sing that 60's song to us: "We gotta get out of this place...if it's the last thing I ever do." Now more than 20 years (gulp) later I have that song ringing in my head again.

Now, unlike most of my male counterparts who suffer from midlife crisis, I don't imagine a life without my husband and kids. One spent traveling to far off places with a buff young love interest on my arm. I think about selling our house, packing up my family and backpacking through Europe. I even checked into the cost...and found we can only afford a year in India, South America or Costa Rica. Again reality hitting me between the eyes!

I've even tainted my kids. Asking them if they want to leave it all behind and try something completely new...just the four of us.

I fantasize that my husband will be irresponsible and buy some tiny sports car (that I can use to escape on weekends.)

I feel trapped in suburbia...the mortgage, tuition, carpools, the school activities, the yard work and never ending "to do" list.

We are even doing a small group at church entitled " Death By Suburb - How to keep Suburbia from killing your soul". The sign up sheet was COMPLETELY filled the first day it was announced. What does that tell you? It tells me I'm not alone!