Every year, my mind works the same way. I optimistically ponder:
- What would make for a special Christmas Season?
It quickly disintegrates into:
- What Needs to Be Done?
- What HAS to be done?
- What's the least I can do without anyone noticing?
The Dream verses Reality:
Dream: I picture my kids and I in the kitchen, dressed our aprons, baking Christmas cookies.
Reality: Then I snap into reality - me asking the kids if they want to bake cookies this year and them responding 'no, I'm good'.
Dream: Just last week, my parents visited in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. I thought ahead and bought Gingerbread houses. (I also dug one out of the basement - the one we were too busy to assemble last year). We sat around the table putting them together.
Reality: It was magical - for a while - until my Tween declared she 'hated gingerbread houses' and that 'you people are driving me crazy'.
Dream: The family joyfully decorating together.
Reality: The houses on our block all aglow while ours sits dark - until good- old fashion- shame motivates us to decorate outside.
Dream: Gifts under the Christmas tree bringing joy to all.
Reality: The boy crying himself to sleep on Christmas night - convinced Santa hates him (since he got such bad gifts ) The Girl happy as can be until she checks Instagram and compares her gifts to everyone elses and then decides they suck! YES this happened last year!
It's no wonder, my motto is "It's not the journey it's the destination". Survive Christmas - CHECK.
I wish away the season in an effort to survive it. I don't know how to change this outlook. All I know is before I know it, I will wake up and my kids will have kids of their own and I will be displaced - alone with my 'to do' list - that is incapable of bringing me any joy.
This year, I will try to Live Intentional.
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